Say It Anyway

James Ferrigno (00:09)
You're still searching for that breakthrough that always feels just out of reach. What is your true life path and how do you finally find it? Welcome to Say It Anyway, the podcast where we help you unlock the breakthrough you've been waiting for so your true life path can finally come to life.

Each week we share powerful practical tools you can use right now to start transforming your life. You'll hear raw, honest conversations with people from all walks of life, people who've found their way forward and are here to share mindsets, strategies, and wisdom that help them get there. I'm James Farigno. I've helped people reconnect with their power for years.

I'll guide you beyond surface level solutions into a deeper way of seeing the world, one rooted in connection, courage, and open-hearted dedication. This is your space to think differently, live boldly, and finally do the thing you were meant to do. Let's get started.

James Ferrigno (01:08)
this is part two of my interview with Dominic Vucci. If you haven't seen part one, you should go back and check it out. We had a great time last time. talked about some amazing things. We talked about finding your true power through not really looking for it, through realizing you already had it, through realizing they're not broken. here comes part two. check it out.

James Ferrigno (01:31)
yes, control. So maybe you can speak to

When you're working with someone, how does control come

Dominic Vucci (01:39)
as we spoke, ⁓ control can be a tricky one because it's a tool in our toolbox that we're familiar with. It served us at some point in time. So the key is to ⁓ understand if implementing that tool, being controlling in a given moment, is serving you, or is it a response mechanism to help you feel safe? ⁓

So is it a tightening, a constricting, a becoming smaller, ⁓ more rigid? Or is it something that's helping you expand, ⁓ more open, more of who you are in a fuller sense? And I think controlling is like judgment, like a lot of things we were saying. ⁓ So ⁓ seeing it for what it is, but without adding more control.

more judgment to the judging, ⁓ really creating a soft space for the perspective to say, this really helping? Is this expansive or is this constricting in a reaction, a survivalistic impulse?

James Ferrigno (02:52)
Yeah, that's a really good point. Just because there's something that isn't working for us, that is making our life more difficult or something we view as a behavior we don't want, it doesn't mean that that thing is wrong or bad or that it's not useful sometimes. It may just be that I think often this is the case where we have this skill.

And we're overusing it

Dominic Vucci (03:23)
Yeah, or it just boils down to this dimension of is this helping me be more of who I am or is this keeping me locked into an old pattern of being a rigid persona, a character playing a role, or is this really life-affirming, ⁓ uplifting, ⁓ moving me in a direction of being more of who I am.

James Ferrigno (03:46)
I like that you mentioned openness and rigidity, that's, think a really good touchstone. been very aware of this is

the things that really just are rigid and go up against things and try to control and stop things. kind of explosive position to take. And it can really be painful. found a lot of pain can come from that.

Dominic Vucci (04:06)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it could be sort of destructive because all this pressure is building up and the rigidity says, no, I've got to hold it together. Well, who says? And maybe the universe is really asking you to get off it, be more open, see another side of the equation. But I hesitate to paint things in black and white terms and say what's right and wrong. Maybe a given life path is about

James Ferrigno (04:33)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Dominic Vucci (04:42)
really understanding the whole control dimension. ⁓ this whole journey is about getting deep into control, doing control really well, and then having some kind of wake up call at a later stage. So as you say, it's what feels right, what feels expansive, what feels the healthier expression in the moment. I think that's all we have to go on.

James Ferrigno (04:46)
Yeah. Yeah.

And yeah, like I was saying, it's not that the control is wrong or bad. It's just that I think at least for me, when you get to a place where you can see your awareness is expanded enough where you can see where it's not benefiting you and you can choose something else. ⁓

Dominic Vucci (05:28)
Yeah, I sometimes

use the metaphor of a scared animal. And if it's not ready, you try to pet that animal and it'll scratch your eyes out because it is just under threat. It's in reaction. It is trying to control and survive and do what it thinks is best in the moment. But over time, maybe it takes a while. You put out some food.

James Ferrigno (05:32)
Mm-hmm.

Dominic Vucci (05:54)
get the message across that you're not a threat, you can start petting this animal. That animal can transform and change. Now, was it because you fed it and, you know, petted it? No, it's something that just is happening within that animal, slowly feels safe enough to expand. Now, would you say, wow, that animal was really making some mistakes there. It was being controlling and I was a safe person the whole time. That was a...

misunderstanding on the animal's behalf. No, the animal did exactly what it was programmed to do and over time it realized it could read the situation differently, bring different behaviors to the party. I just, I like that metaphor because it says there's no wrong behavior. It's just over time we realize that we can expand and see things differently and through that perspective have a different exchange.

different experience.

James Ferrigno (06:55)
Yeah, the journey has different aspects to it in different stages and you're just at one stage or another. It's easy to fall into that trap of, that person is more progressed than this person and I'm more progressed than that. What I think of as just grades in school or kids,

Dominic Vucci (07:11)
Yeah.

James Ferrigno (07:23)
10 year old isn't inherently superior to a nine year old, know, just because they're in fifth grade instead of fourth grade. They're just in fifth grade.

Dominic Vucci (07:27)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I was.

Yeah, I

was speaking to a friend who's actually a teacher and mentioning she had shared that she read an article that some instances of ADHD are tied to trauma. And she said as a teacher, she can definitely identify certain students she has as maybe being candidates for that assessment, that there's abuse happening or there's some kind of

James Ferrigno (07:58)
Mm-hmm.

Dominic Vucci (08:02)
a difficult challenge that child's facing. Now, could it be a combination of things? Sure. But her assessment is that there are instances where it's not ADHD, is a child ⁓ having difficulty staying in their body, staying present, processing their challenging reality. ⁓ So I just think different things can manifest in different ways. ⁓ We cope.

James Ferrigno (08:24)
Mm-hmm.

Dominic Vucci (08:30)
the best we can in different situations. ⁓ You know, and different things come from that. ⁓ Is that right or wrong? Are we doing a good job or a bad job? Is that C student actually an A student, but it has all these, you know, challenges at home, to use your analogy. It's just tough to say. Tough to put all that into, you know, the hopper and come up with a decision that's worthy of. ⁓

James Ferrigno (08:50)
Mm-hmm.

Dominic Vucci (08:59)
playing judgment. I just think like, here we are, this is what's happening. Can we be loving? Can we be caring? Can we embrace more fully what is here and find our path from that standpoint, rather than it's got to be better? Are you going to jump through this hoop or you have to accomplish this task?

James Ferrigno (09:21)
absolutely. When I...

doing special ed teaching and I work with emotionally disturbed kids, I didn't judge, I found that just sitting and holding space with the student was 90 % of the solution.

Dominic Vucci (09:37)
Yeah.

Yeah.

And that could be a huge breakthrough for them. Maybe the rest of their life, they have no one who welcomes them to just be present, to be who they are. Maybe they're just faced with demand after demand after demand to be something. And here you are saying, hey, you're good, just as you are welcome. ⁓ What's going on for you? Where you at? What's happening? And just that request to express what is real, what is happening for them. That could be.

James Ferrigno (10:04)
Mm-hmm.

Dominic Vucci (10:11)
hugely profound as a, you know, a pivot point for them to shift.

James Ferrigno (10:17)
Yeah, absolutely. And it has played out that way. Very few, think probably not just kids, but adults have ever had somebody really hold sacred space for them. You know, so it can be a, that first time can be really, really powerful for them. Yeah.

Dominic Vucci (10:37)
Absolutely.

James Ferrigno (10:38)
How do you distinguish between your intuition and your whatever you want to call it ego?

Dominic Vucci (10:44)
Yeah, or just the story or the advice. ⁓ I think it's a super relevant question, because when we talk about intuition, it is this process I described before of letting go, getting out of the way. What is coming through? What is that hit that is of more of a pure nature? It's not coming through some filter or some storyline that's familiar to me. I've worked with close friends and I know them as friends. We have friendship that plays out over a long period of time.

I know their character. ⁓ But when I'm in this space of holding intuition, a different ⁓ input comes forward. So I've even been in a reading with one of these friends and said, hey, as your friend, this is what I want to say. You need to stand up or you need to tell that boss such and such. Not that I would say those things, but that's the impulse, right? As a friend. ⁓

James Ferrigno (11:37)
Mm-hmm.

Dominic Vucci (11:42)
And yet, as I hold space, as I just create this sacred container, this openness to what is highest and best, this is what's coming through. This is what's lighting up. So even though that's my impulse as a person, as a friend with the history, with the advice, ⁓ this is actually what is highest and best, very different. So I'm always ⁓ kind of both amazed at that, reassured that this intuition stuff actually is working.

that it's coming from some other place because that's not consciously what I might have put forward. yeah, think once again, it really comes back to fostering that sacred space and getting out of the way.

James Ferrigno (12:13)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, just allowing those thoughts to come through.

Dominic Vucci (12:37)
the impressions, that's exactly a different part of the equation. ⁓ What is that? That's maybe a whole other conversation. ⁓ What is the source of intuition? But yeah, for sure. I think it's a beautiful thing to be able to hold sacred space and just like you described with the special aid kits, just get out of the way, allow them to be who they are. ⁓ What does that foster in them? What does that encourage?

James Ferrigno (12:37)
of a different part of your.

Yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Dominic Vucci (13:06)
It's really powerful.

James Ferrigno (13:09)
remember when I was younger, even at one point before I meditated or did anything, it was my early twenties maybe. And I thought, wait a second. I was just saying things. I was having a conversation and I really started thinking about what am I saying? Wait a second. Where, where are these words coming from? And then I realized, you know, and I'd heard about channeling and it's like, wait a second. Everything I've ever said is.

Dominic Vucci (13:30)
Yeah.

James Ferrigno (13:37)
channeled. I don't know how I'm thinking of what to say or my thoughts. Where are my thoughts coming from? Yeah, they don't really... Yeah, it's like I didn't decide, okay, now I'm going to think about driving to the store.

Dominic Vucci (13:45)
Yeah, aren't they even your thoughts? I mean, we could go off the deep end.

James Ferrigno (13:57)
actually pretty profound for me in my early 20s was everything I've ever thought is I don't know where it's coming from, you know,

Dominic Vucci (14:05)
And it can be liberating, you know, to go down that path and say, hey, I'm here, present in the moment, aware of occurrences, but I'm not all caught up in a story and a character and playing a role. So I think there can be a real positive angle to be held around that.

James Ferrigno (14:07)
Mm-hmm.

Hmm?

It's just part of what's happening.

Dominic Vucci (14:27)
Yeah, and again, softening that engagement with what needs to be and in general terms, holding more openness to just what is here, what is occurring, what's happening, being more receptive overall.

James Ferrigno (14:45)
Maybe switching gears a little bit. ⁓ If you had a powerful moment, maybe with a client where ⁓ there was something really transformative you saw happening

Dominic Vucci (14:53)
⁓

Yeah, I think every client session there's something that really stands out. ⁓ Again, I'm really drawn to this work because of that exchange to walk away going like, wow, I'll have our friends say, what are you up to? I'll say, I just had a couple readings. ⁓ And how'd it go? Awesome. It's always the same.

I never have a bad session because for me it's this engagement. I got to hang out with spirit, both my spirit, holding sacred witness to somebody else's spirit. All these beautiful things occurred, great stuff came through. ⁓ But one instance that does come to mind that really struck me, ⁓ so I mentioned I was a teacher for quite a while at the Academy of Intuition Medicine.

We have a series of classes, one of them having to do with ⁓ boundaries, really understanding that on a psychic or more personal level. ⁓ so part of the practice during meditation is to bring forward ⁓ somebody you're wanting to clean things up with. It's not that they have to have any part of it. It's just you conjuring up in your mind's eye somebody that you'd like to have better boundaries with.

or just kind of clean up the slate. And ⁓ so we're going through the meditation and then we have a little break period. And this person comes back from the break, a student, white as a ghost. And the teacher at the time, the head teacher asks, does anybody have anything to share about that exercise we just did? He raises his hand and says ⁓ he hadn't spoken with his sister in over three years. They had a very difficult rapport.

And he decided to put into practice this work, creating this boundary, creating sort of a healing engagement for himself, we'll say. And while he was on the break, his sister called out of the blue. And I thought, wait a minute, what are the odds that that would just be a natural occurrence? So yeah.

There can be moments in time where you're just engaging, you're just holding highest and best in this instance that had to do with boundaries and cleaning up ⁓ energetic entanglements, right? But the outcome was really powerful, palpable, like totally evident. I forget what the exchange was about, but she picked up in the athers that something was moving and shaking. And so it speaks to, we are connected. ⁓

there can be entanglements and conversely, there can be pathways to really apply sensitivity, awarenesses ⁓ to move in the healthy healing direction and create positive change through this practice, many practices, but primarily through holding what's highest and best, creating a sacred space, bringing forward that more balanced expression.

James Ferrigno (18:18)
I love that story. ⁓ Yeah, what are the odds of that? Very, very, very. Yeah.

Dominic Vucci (18:22)
And I could just go on down the list. There's all kinds of

⁓ awesome healing stories where people just get out of the way and things start shifting in really dramatic terms.

James Ferrigno (18:35)
You mentioned boundaries. ⁓ Whenever I can, like to talk about this because there can be some confusion around what boundaries are. ⁓ If you have any thoughts on that,

Dominic Vucci (18:45)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

when I start out with a client who maybe I haven't worked with before, and maybe they don't have a huge background in this ⁓ language, we'll say, ⁓ I will emphasize a few things to start, just kind of get some basic orientation. One is grounding, so your connection with the Earth, being more settled on this ground. ⁓

That can be open to however you interpret it. Where is your opening for your association with this ground and grounding your energy being settled or connected, you might say, to the earth. So that's one. The second is boundaries. And again, open to interpretation. What does it mean for you to have a sacred surrounding space wherein you can exit people who are caught up or you're entangled with energetically and say,

please step outside of this field, because this field is my field. This is the realm of where I am tuning into what's highest and best for me energetically within my own space. So a boundary for me is just a delineation of where your space that really nurtures and fosters connection ⁓ for yourself is held. And then the third thing is the concept of an aura, this surrounding

field of energy that once again really houses who you are. And ⁓ that can be a concentration that's really helpful to filter out ⁓ what has been held as interference or dissonance, things that have gotten in the way of that clear signal, you might say, for yourself. So boundary for me is one of the main tools that I employ and encourage and support others to be connected with.

James Ferrigno (20:44)
Excellent, I like that answer.

You can speak to.

there a misconception about healing, about the healing process, anything maybe we haven't talked about that you feel like something that people could benefit from?

Dominic Vucci (20:52)
⁓

You know, for me, it's just a product of my own journey, starting out feeling a certain way and then just over time coming to a different realization. So it may resonate with others, may not, but for me, one of the misconceptions I've really come forward with is that we're not on some journey ⁓ from brokenness ⁓ to finding some place of healing. ⁓ It's really a process of letting go.

and letting go in particular to what has been in the way. So we talked earlier about the efforting and the feeling we need to be certain something or fulfill a role or be beholden to some family identity or religious doctrine. Those things can be fine, but when they infringe upon our expression of wholeness of our full character, then they're a real detriment.

James Ferrigno (21:44)
Mm.

Dominic Vucci (21:59)
They're standing in the way of our ⁓ authentic expression in the world. So I think the misconception again is just ⁓ seeing yourself as already whole, ⁓ carrying that idea that on a core level, you are that innocent childlike expression. And can you foster and connect with that? Can you ⁓ support that character coming back into form?

rather than trying to build something onto it. It's maybe like a metaphor of a crumpled up piece of paper. It can be smoothed out, but nothing needs to be added. There's nothing wrong. It's just smoothing out those wrinkles, releasing old wounds, old charges, old points of interference, but it's not adding a net new anything to the mix. So I like that. ⁓

as being kind of a big part again of my practice as a misconception, letting go of the idea of being broken and needing something that needs to be fixed.

James Ferrigno (23:08)
Excellent, so it's more of a subtracting than adding something.

Dominic Vucci (23:13)
Yeah, or it could be, you know, given the individual, could be a story, as we said, of self-love, really understanding what that's about, ⁓ deep level of self-acceptance, because you've never felt that, ⁓ realizing you're worthy, because you weren't, you know, previously supported and understanding that notion. So it can have sort of a different flavor for different people, but I think ultimately it comes back to just appreciating the essence of who we are as already whole.

James Ferrigno (23:47)
Excellent. Yeah, So I'm just going to wrap up with one last question here. If you could offer just one message or practice to listeners seeking alignment and clarity, what would it be? And I realize you just did something similar, but is there anything you can add to that?

Dominic Vucci (23:53)
Mm-hmm.

Totally.

Yeah, good point. That'll be an echo. But I like to say keep it simple, though it's not easy. Simple, but not easy. ⁓ It is about ⁓ a simplistic approach or a simplistic practice, honoring yourself and your experience that's here. You're not supposed to be better than experiencing something else, a more improved version of yourself.

If that's meant to come, that will take shape over time, but just really attuning ⁓ to the deepest, truest part of yourself, allowing that to be kind of the source of your healing. You know, being...

attuned in this way for me is the core principle ⁓ that we're not trying to get somewhere. We're allowing ourselves to be who we are. So, you know, shine bright, share your light with the world. But that's a practice of really appreciating what is here rather than feeling like you need to get somewhere. So that's my big main message.

James Ferrigno (25:17)
Fantastic, I guess that's the self-love, right?

Dominic Vucci (25:20)
Yes, exactly. Here we are all these years later. I'm like, okay, well, you know, maybe it wasn't that I was hearing it the right way, who knows. But yes, absolutely. All these years later, that's how it's sort of been made manifest, you know, a way I could detest and process it. There's that deep level of acceptance of what is here and not trying to, you know, match up, win approval of you more than that's kind of

Exercise like you had mentioned being on the hamster wheel chasing the tail around the tree. ⁓ It's not actually ⁓ supportive of the end goal of being present in a fuller way.

James Ferrigno (25:56)
Mm-hmm.

Dominic Vucci (26:05)
So cool.

James Ferrigno (26:05)
Fantastic.

all right, Dominic, thank you so much for ⁓ being on the show today.

Dominic Vucci (26:10)
Yeah.

Yeah, awesome. I appreciate the opportunity.

James Ferrigno (26:16)
Yeah,

Dominic Vucci (26:17)
Okay, take care all.

James Ferrigno (26:18)
All right, take care.